Do you want what the best thing in the world is? In my opinion, it’s getting to experience the fun and happiness of being in a relationship without being in an actual relationship. And that’s what I want right now.

I like lads who act like a complete knucklehead but can perform well in everything they do. The stark contrast between their relaxed and carefree personality and serious self makes me want to take them home with me.

With the pair of titties that I have, I am sure that the majority of lads here will be attracted to me. I am also certain that some of them are going to try everything in their power just to get laid with me or at least get a chance to dirty chat wit...

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

I am fond of blokes with tight arses, something to grab on and spank until it blushes. It turns me on when I can sink my fingers and be given permission to use my teeth too. I'm cheeky and old, I could get away with it.

What are in my bucket list? - To try skydiving and wingsuit flying - To get off at the beach during the day. I don't like nighttime. I wouldn't have a chance to enjoy my lover's physique by then. - To eat exotic food. Any recommendation?