Not to brag, but my irresistible beauty has captivated the hearts of kings and barbarians. These men have ravaged me when I was out in the wilderness, for I love hiking in the mountains at noon. It's hitting two birds in one stone.

The process of making a full English breakfast is therapeutic for me. It brings me joy like no other, I take my time and savour the flavours rather than eat like a rabid dog. I have always kept my poise unless it's behind closed bedroom doors.

Age is nothing but a number. I don't consider myself as old as my body's still strong and stunning. I can lift weights. I can run. I can jog. I've maintained a great figure you'd be dying to touch. And most of all, I'm fit for a wheelbarrow or a stan...

I've worked at one of the local theaters in our area when I was younger, and I can't even begin to tell you just how many people I've caught shagging in the bathrooms and janitor closets. Some I even found snogging in the alcoves. I envy them even as...

What fascinates me in particular about some men is their genuine interest in women. They listen to my little stories even when it's already dark outside. They're even amused at how fun I can be when there's just the two of us.

Hungry almost every minute. Nah. I'm not referring to the typical hunger that all people feel. The craving I'm talking about is quite different, but you surely would have guessed it by now if we have a strong appetite for the same thing.